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Jozef
Lapauw, CICM
We can choose our friends but not our confreres. We joined the CICM community because of our common call by Christ to share in the same religious missionary vocation and mission. There are many forms and expressions of fraternal communion in CICM. A good number of confreres live alone but are in communion with other confreres through prayer and their participation in CICM events. Many confreres live in mission teams, others in small or larger CICM house communities. Some live and work in CICM international mission teams or communities while others do not. We have now confreres from sixteen different nationalities. We are called to support and challenge each other as caring brothers to grow as disciples and apostles of Christ. We are also called to be witnesses of His universal love in a globalizing world where many people from many cultures and religions meet each other with all the blessings and tensions involved. Is this "mission impossible"? The word community is used here not only as a house community but also in the larger sense as a group that tries to grow in fraternal communion. A community develops and holds together if members agree on a common vision, mission and values, and are converted to implement them. "A community is an event, not a given fact. It is not just there; it becomes an event which people try to achieve: a community as achievement of common meaning. The common meaning entails that nobody should be excluded; all are part of the group" said Bishop Luis Antonio Tagle in his talk on Community Building during the General Conference of April 2002 in Taytay in the Philippines. 1. A fraternal communion of belonging: "As brothers in the same Institute, we foster a special bond among us that goes beyond all differences. We seek our unity and communion in the Lord Jesus who has called us to share in one and the same vocation and mission" (Const., art. 48). As much as the nature of our apostolate permits, we live together in community By living in community, we strengthen the bonds of unity among us (Const., art. 51). In my visits around the world I have seen the efforts of confreres not only to build Christian communities in the local churches but also to grow in caring fraternal communion with confreres from different cultures. Can people who see our communities say: "See how they love each other?". Isn't this also mission: giving prophetic witness to the universal love of Christ and the inclusivity of His Gospel in a divided world? Everybody knows that this is very difficult as is living the Gospel. Isn't this a process of permanent conversion that can be rewarding and enriching for those who try with God's grace to live it? Belonging to CICM is to live in or relate to a CICM community that gathers regularly as confreres who pray, share faith, discern and work together, celebrate, recreate, have fun, eat together, study, evaluate and plan together the CICM mission commitments. 2. A fraternal communion of common prayer and deeper sharing: "`Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am in their midst' (Mt 18:20): By coming together as confreres in prayer around the Lord, we help each other in our constant search for God and deepen our fraternal communion" (Const., art. 40). There is the saying, "A family that prays together stays together". Doesn't this apply also to our religious missionary communities? I have been inspired during my visits to confreres around the world in the CICM houses and on occasions of local, district, provincial and regional gatherings by the sharing of confreres in prayer and discernment. But I have also been saddened when I visited our houses or communities where there was very little or no prayer in community. Is this acceptable in a CICM community? We are religious missionaries and prayer in community is not optional. It is vital for our vocation. Our Constitutions ask that in all CICM houses, communities and CICM gatherings quality community prayer be organized. Have not all confreres and especially the young, our candidates and formandi the right to belong to a religious missionary community that prays and discerns in faith when it gathers? Daily community prayer, Eucharist, regular recollections and retreats are all important. With God's grace let us growin trust and openness with each other to share our memories, its our lights and shadows, our hopes and fears, our successes and failures on a deeper level in Christ. Let us bring before the Lord our intentions for the people and the communities where we live, for the world, the Church, our relatives, friends, benefactors and our Congregation. Let us offer to God our joys and pains, our hopes and anxieties related to our religious missionary life and ministries. This strengthens us in solidarity and in the love of Christ. 3. A fraternal communion of solidarity, mutual support, care and sharing our gifts and differences: "Fraternal communion demands that we support one another, and that we show a real interest in the person and the work of each confrere. We pray for one another and for our Institute" (Const., art. 50). I have seen confreres who deeply care no matter the effort and cost, who practice hospitality, who make time for other confreres to listen and to share, who go out of their way to visit other confreres who are more isolated, who are sick or who have a difficult time, who live and work in dangerous circumstances. Thank God for our members who care for confreres who grieve for a dear relative, friend or confrere who died, or for a confrere who is in crisis. Is this not CICM at its best? This requires compassion, respect, trust, discretion and confidentiality. How do we care in an international community with so many personal, generational and cultural differences? Each confrere brings his own gifts and shadows from the context from where he comes. Doesn't a loving heart have much space for the other, whereas a heart that is full of self-defense feels threatened by the differences? Exclusion can be overcome by a deep love rooted in the unconditional love of God that gives us more inner security to care for each other. May we grow in care and inner freedom to "speak the truth in love" (Ep 4:15). Respect and sensitivity means also that we try to use a language which is understood by all who are present in the community and during CICM gatherings (Const., art. 50.3). 4. A fraternal communion o f growth, healing and forgiveness: "Knowing that we are sinners, we trust in God's mercy and respond to Christ's call to be reconciled with the Father and one another. We regularly turn to the sacrament of reconciliation and take steps necessary to heal any broken relationships" (Const, art. 45). As missionaries we are aware of evil in the world but also in ourselves and among us. Do we not unavoidably hurt each other at times through words and actions even if we do not intend to? At times we do not communicate well and have misunderstandings also because of personal and cultural differences. At times we put each other down because of our own past wounds, lack of self-esteem, inner insecurity, jealousy or competition. How do we deal with brokenness in a relationship with a confrere or with others? I have met confreres who have been away from a CICM community or have not been able to meet a confrere for many years because of hurts in the past. How can we be set free and healed to communicate, to love and care again? Truly acknowledging our anger, praying for our enemies and ourselves, direct respectful communication with a confrere or a person with whom we have a conflict or who has hurt us can be most helpful. Spiritual accompaniment and the sacrament of reconciliation can also help us to be healed, to forgive and be forgiven as God forgives us and loves us whatever our past. Isn't His mercy and love greater than our sinfulness and brokenness? In this way we may be able to move from being a victim into being a survivor and healer. Forgiveness can lead to reconciliation. Can we let go of our past hurts, let God heal, trust and build each other up as brothers? 5. A fraternal communion to share weaknesses and doubts: this is hard for us, men, isn't it? We want to show that we are strong. We have a hard time to express our shadow sides and being vulnerable. Are we not afraid that we will be put down, that our self-image will be tarnished? Doesn't it require deep care, trust, humility and inner security, mutual respect and tact to be able to communicate that side of ourselves? If we are able to do so we feel less lonely or isolated. We know that deep in our heart we all sail "in the same human boat", that we all have our light and shadow sides as confreres and as CICM communities. Don't we all have blessings but also inner wounds from our past? If we can share in our local mission teams and our CICM communities, as I have witnessed confreres do, during recollections, retreats, provincial- or district days or assemblies, then new life is possible, bonds are strengthened, brotherhood grows. We need each other to come to know ourselves better and to grow in fraternal love. We must be able to express our doubts. It is above all when a confrere enters the "wilderness," when nothing makes sense anymore, that we must let him speak. Must we not respect his struggle and never label, judge or crush him? If we allow that confrere to share these moments of darkness and incomprehension, and we dare to listen to him, then it may be the greatest gift we could ever give. Will God not lead this confrere through "the dark night of the soul?". Let us walk with him in trust. Nothing binds a community more closely together than a faith that we struggle to attain together. 6. A fraternal communion of caring and sharing our personal, cultural gifts and differences for the building of "the Body of Christ". "As missionaries, we live our fraternal communion in the midst of the people to whom we are sent. Their concrete reality is the reference point which determines how we live out our communion..." (Const., art. 49). We are called to give of our time, talents and treasures in solidarity with our CICM community at the service of the CICM mission. In many places I have seen confreres who give life to their community of ministry but also to their CICM community with their voluntary service at the reception desk, in the garden, in the kitchen, in the dining room, in the laundry room, in listening to other confreres, during recreation, to provide transportation, in visiting the sick and elderly confreres and those who live alone, etc. When we volunteer at CICM gatherings to serve our confreres, when we bring joy with a sense of humour, when we show interest in a confrere and take time to listen with attention and with our heart to his story related to his family, his culture, his ministry, do we then not affirm that person? Isn't that true caring? It creates deep happiness and it is mutually life-giving. 7. From "the community for me" to "me for the community": "A common program of life increases the witnessing power of our word and work. Our communities are characterized by cordial hospitality" (Const., art. 51). "Confreres who do not live together in community pursue a fraternal communion, especially with those living in the same area. Appropriate structures facilitate contacts and encounters" (Const., art. 52). Building a fraternal communion is a growth process, a corporate life project. It does not happen by itself. Doesn't it require an intentional effort to grow? Yes, it needs quality time to pray, to discern, to evaluate and to plan. Therefore a community project of life and community meetings are crucial. These allow us to communicate, reflect together, discern, evaluate, organize and plan events. This is not easy because of personal and cultural differences. (duality time of sharing, good communication and animation can help to avoid many misunderstandings and failures in a community. We rightly expect CICM to provide for the means we need for our missionary ministry, our health care and our retirement. But are we not called also to be responsible, transparent and accountable stewards? What do we contribute, in solidarity, to our CICM community and to support our common mission? Sometimes I hear confreres talk about "my" parish, "my" ministry, "my" money (e.g. PTA's), "my" projects, "my" car, etc. Do we not sometimes forget our identity as religious missionaries? We are consecrated to God for mission. "We commit ourselves to the mission through a total gift of self to God by the profession of the vows of chastity, poverty and obedience in our Institute" (Const., art 17). "Fidelity to our vows demands that we answer the Lord's call with renewed freedom and love each day" (Const., art.19). We thus give life to our community. Conclusion "Community not a problem but a Mystery" "The primordial community is the Holy Trinity, and this is not a problem but a Mystery. It is a mystery coming to us, inviting us to enter their community life. If we do this, community becomes a religious experience. Think about the way we express this experience in the sign of the cross and in our liturgical prayer. In this we can learn from the poor. Oftentimes they show us a real community life, which is a life of understanding, sharing and love" (Bishop Luis Antonio Tagle). Is fraternal communion "One Heart, One Soul" possible in our international community ? It is not easy but it is possible with God's grace if our hearts are big enough with a growing fraternal care that is rooted in God's universal, unconditional love. "You have only one Teacher and you are all brothers" (Mt 23:8). Let us thank God for our religious missionary vocation in CICM. Let us pray and work together each day to make this fraternal communion in Christ more possible in our own community and our Congregation at the service of the Reign of God. Let us commit ourselves to Christ and our community each day: "This is my life given for you" (Eucharist). Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us. Amen.
Ref.: CHRONICA (CICM), n.1, January-February 2003, pp. 4-11.
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